ANXIETY ANSWERS

Sleep: How To…

To a certain extent, sleeping is a learned skill. Sure, we will eventually drop into a slumber from exhaustion or our body will give up on us. Neither of those two options are ideal.

So sleep skills for the win!

Coaching our children and our timeless inner child on the best skills for optimal sleep helps our entire mindset and specifically, keeps anxiety in check.

Too many of us, however, were never taught sleeping skills but with practice, you too may join the Sleep All-Stars.1

Here’s How To:

  • OPTIMIZE SLEEP HYGIENE: sleep hygiene are rituals and healthy choices that grow a good night’s rest (our teeth benefit from hygiene, and news flash: same for our zzzz’s):
    • Cue yourself it’s time for sleep: cozy beverage of chamomile tea; turn off tech 30 mins prior – yeah, that means you too, parents – to let the part of your brain that regulates sleep and awake life know that it’s cool to start to drift into rest mode; talk silly nonsense or positively connect with someone, some animal, some book, or some journal about the best future you are building for yourself w/ optimal sleep (one year from now…and now starts now…) or savor the magical mundane of sense of safety and calm, together.
    • Timing is everything. Head to sleep around the same time, routinely. That is as important, if not more, than what time you go to sleep. Why? We need to follow and bolster our circadian rhythms – aka, the fancy term for the clock in our brain that tells us when to zzzz and truly tucks us in. Attuned to our circadian rhythm, we produce lush and natural melatonin to chill us the bleep out. Overnight shift workers, fear not – if you perform shift work when other humans typically sleep – you just have to be mindful most days of the week to sleep at similar times, in a cool and dark setting (invest in those blackout curtains).
    • Don’t underestimate the power of white noise machines or earplugs!
  • HOW TO GET TO SLEEP AND GET BACK TO SLEEP: this is also a practice, in other words – a skill that if repeated may turn into a healthy lifestyle. Think swim strokes. Thinking toddling. Think coffee without sugar. Growth adjustments abound with similar ups and downs and noble intentions. But, yes, it does take a few practices before finding your flowing sweet spots. And once you find them, the skills come and go. The more you “practice,” though, the science says the sleepiness comes back, and back again, efficiently.2
    • As you intentionally shift from sleep prep into active sleep, repeat this beat: “Now is the calm time, now’s the time for rest. Quiet your thoughts, they’ll come back in the morning. Let go of feelings, they’ll come back when you need them. Relax your body, it’s time to reset.” Inspire your whole being and give it permission to rest.
    • If you cannot let go of any one thought or feeling, keep a small notebook bedside for thoughts/feelings brain dumps. That way, you are truly confident that those thoughts and feelings will be there tomorrow.
    • Envision permission for rest: notice calm via your senses. Notice the tactile feeling of calm against your blanket. Notice the calm lighting (reframing the concept of night, not just as spooky uncertainty, but also time for relaxing the eyes). Notice the way the body feels heavy against a bed, allowed to lean into a soft, yet firm hug of support.
    • If you wake in the night – and you have trouble falling back into sleep – foremost, note that REST is akin to benefits found in a first stage of sleep.3 There is benefit to just BEING in a resting posture. This helps twofold: don’t stress, and when we don’t stress – we lessen the risk of elevating or activating stress hormones which will literally keep us awake longer. Note, it takes the average person 20 mins to fall into or back into sleep, if woken in the night. Secondly, when we rest – we gain many benefits akin to sleep which include a pause from social, sensory, and stress stimuli.3 Happy rest, happy life.
    • If unable to fall back to sleep easily – try the potty, make adjustments – then rest on your back with arms and legs slightly to your side. Do cross-body visualization. This is called YOGA NIDRA4 (link to one of my favorite demos by the great Deepak Chopra). You may also find apps to learn how to do this. Great to learn to do in the middle of the night, without tech and just from your own self-talk. Make it your own: RIGHT FOOT, LEFT FOOT. RIGHT CALF, LEFT CALF. All you are doing is noticing (awareness) or visualizing (mentalization, aka using your brain-black-box for good fortune). With eyes closed in a relaxed posture, bring awareness to parts of the body from one side to the next. I scan upward, and finish with a visualized brain massage. Try it, you really can imagine relaxing your brain in the same way we can visualize relaxing fisted hands. Also, the cross-body scan works both to activate across the hemispheres of the brain, which calms us, as well as – gives our mind something to focus on rather than worries or tomorrow’s work agenda.

In the end, I suggest you take your sleep life as seriously (okay, maybe not that seriously because that could backfire) yet seriously honor sleep like other aspects of your life. Your mindset, your family, and – for sure – your energy will thank you.

  1. Gunn S. Is Sleeping a Talent? https://frontlinegenomics.com/is-sleeping-a-talent/ Accessed 23 October 2023.
  2. LaMotte S. Mental Tricks for Sleep Wellness. https://www.cnn.com/2022/03/13/health/mental-tricks-for-sleep-wellness/index.html Accessed 23 October 2023.
  3. Cooks-Campbell A. Seven Types of Rest. https://www.betterup.com/blog/types-of-rest Accessed 23 October 23.
  4. Chopra D. Yoga Nidra for Meditation for Sleep Awareness. https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/hay-house-meditations-5424/episodes/deepak-chopra-yoga-nidra-medit-160824349 Produced by Hay House Meditations. June 2023. Accessed 23 October 2023.