ANXIETY ANSWERS

Lately, some dearest clients have faced the worst of humanity.

These same clients are some of the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate humans that I know – their personal suffering, magnified by exposure to horrific elements of human free will.

No one deserves: to live in a community where they fear for their lives.

No one deserves: to be threatened for a part of their authentic identity.

Sadly, too many of us face legit fears on the daily in twenty-first century living. I call it the TS Eliot Wasteland Syndrome – to quote the brilliant poem composed long ago to capture the dystopia of a World War I society, applicable these days:

But at my back in a cold blast I hear, the rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear.¹

There is a haunting to these days. And I wish to give some tips to anchor back into the here and now. In the here and now, may we relocate hope and joys – our rights upon this planet.

Fear, itself, is a death of the soul. We cannot change the wrongs by others, the what-ifs of tomorrow…

The greatest faith we have is to ground into the best of this moment. Here is how to take back your life, one good-enough moment at a time:

• Grounding – be with your senses and in deep, full breaths as often as possible. When we focus on the simple magnificence of breath, we allow our breath to lead our body with a message throughout our nervous system and then back to our brain, that we are okay enough in this moment. Our mindset will settle further, as our body settles. As this happens, lean into focus on life through soothing senses – a delightful taste, touch, sight, smell, and sound of joy. Savor with a joyful sense based way of living – for instance, really touching and hearing the breaking apart of a clementine, smelling it and taking small bites to experience its awesomeness. This turns our ordinary moments into joyful extraordinary ones. In times of high stress, we need these moments to reset. Bonus, the more we pay attention through our senses – we quiet the volume and redirect from intrusive distress.
• Downloading of Distress – while I wish we could all be Mindful Wizards of mere breath and senses, we are human after all. The human brain is prone to thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations based on how safe or well enough we are doing circumstantially. Take note of any frequent or intense thoughts, feelings, or sensations that arise during difficult times. Thoughts are automatic ones like, “Oh no!” or belief systems such as “I will never feel safe, here, again.” Feeling states are as infinite as your vocabulary on emotional life and no one has a right to tell you what you are feeling, usually more than one feeling at once. Permit yourself, as well, to allow MIX N’ MATCH energy. For instance, it is common to feel sadness and gratitude and anger over the same topic. Similarly, sensations in our body – often unconscious in origin, consciously communicated in funky bodiedness – tell us if we feel restless or worn out. MIX N’ MATCH energy, paid attention to as needed, takes care of us. If fixated upon, though, we lose sight of having an ability to allow thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations to come or go akin to passing clouds. Yet, again, if anything is frequent or really intense, it is important to jot down your thoughts and/or speak up ASAP…
• Support Network – which leads naturally to correspondence with the loved ones and trusted community with whom you feel safe BEING/CHILLING IN A GROUNDING STATE and who you’d be able to share with, without judgment regarding your DOWNLOADING OF DISTRESS.
• Sleep Well, Eat Mindfully – sleep is essential, in soothing and cool and calming environments during periods of high distress. Without sleep, our stress hormones overwhelm physical health and suppress capacity for calming hormones like melatonin to percolate throughout our system.² Sleepless, we short circuit and everything mind-body-spirit magnifies or malfunctions. Similarly, mindful of regular water hydration and fruits ‘n veggies, we keep the cellular level happy.
• Inventory Your Three Months From Now – in a journal or in correspondence with trusted allyship. Brainstorm how you wish to be living three to six months from now. Begin with questions like: what are my core values? What choices do I need to make to maintain them? Also, if I acted NOT ON FEAR AND TRAUMA, what would I choose for my life and how can I get the support plus mentorship to be unswallowed by anxious reactions? Relatedly, the world in which we spend our twenty-first century days, undeniably remains in unrest. Inventory how and where you feel most anchored. Consider ways to maximize sense of security. When we feel secure in purpose and safety, we have the foundation to fly again…

Fly, butterflies…you will soar again. I am here to cheer you onward and upward.

1. Eliot TS. THE WASTELAND Accessed 10 November 2023
2. Cleveland Clinic. On Melatonin. Accessed 10 November 2023